Only half of our communications are spoken. Pay attention to the rest.

I had a co-worker named Jamie. He was a Subject Matter Expert and may have been the smartest person in most rooms, very intelligent. We were trainers with a large auto conglomerate. One day while working with a group we were in a segment covering communications. Jamie made a statement that I will never forget. He said, “you listen more with your eyes than your ears”. What a profound statement.

As I mentally began dissecting his words they became more clear to me. My thinking started with kids and how they learn so much before they can even speak. How do they do it, they watch us. They watch every move and try to mimic those around them.

Later on as they begin speaking what are the first words they utter, mama, daddy? Imagine that, they are dependent on the parents and they say the same words they have heard hundreds or thousands of times. They begin to associate the words with what they see.

I remember being a teen and my father saying, “look at me when I am talking to you”. I thought to myself, but I can hear you. Although the truth is most teens had their thoughts on other things. But if I were looking in my father’s eyes I could see how serious he was, and let me know how scared I should be, haha.

What does it look like as adults? Let’s use Jamie’s example of a husband and wife having a heated discussion, argument, or disagreement you don’t turn your back. “You may get a shoe to the back of the head”. Unfortunately I do believe Jamie hit the nail right on the head. Most of us look at who we have a disagreement, and argue our case. We argue so hard, we forget what started the heated discussion in the first place.

My take:

Your goal should be to be present in all of your conversations. It accomplishes several important points.

  1. Respect to the other party.
  2. Shows you are interested in the conversation.
  3. You value the conversation.
  4. Shows you are present.

The good thing is this may make you turn away from your computer or phone and really connect.

Thanks for joining me today!

#10 Seconds Daily

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